I love my weekends when i am not on call!

I mean it is just so therapeutic!!
i love the time, albiet short, spent at home, with the family, with my parents foot massages and good food.
i am loving it!!
these powerful weekends give me the strength to carry on  my work for the coming tough week, working 7 days non stop with 2 calls..amazingly torturous isn;t it.

My next pit stop will be looking forward to lantern festival this wed! :)

There is a positive side to everything, even if u think there isn't any.

Good morning! it's beautiful sunday brunch time!
I feel encouraged to blog because of how my sisters have been so faithfully updating theirs and of coz remembering how my younger sis spent the wee hours revamping my blog making it looks so awesome as it is now.

So let's see, from the last time i blogged until today,nothing much happened, except i've been working and working AND working my bones out. I worked for straight 17 days without a single day of break! with 3 calls in the same period and i SAY it's INSANE! Well, thankfully for this weekend break i finally get to truly enjoy.

When ANYONE asks me how i find my job. how am i coping yadah yadah, i would grimly smile and say "it's ok, only it's really tiring esp being a dr in where i am right now." But when i think further, i would still have that sparkle in me that reminds me of how i came to where i am today. All the hardwork and mugging for all the major exams in life scoring straight As for these exams and then the ultimate entry essay and interviews to enter med school. The passion that was once burning in me so strongly, the altruisim to wanna do good and be a great dr. Then i recall the amazing times with the med school frens.  and i say amazing! from my dancer buddies, all the toil and sweat in preparing for rag day, all the outings, movies, wind surfing, gatherings, dinners, BBQs- to my anatomy class and mix, KTV sessions, stay overs, crazy games at party gatherings, to the few good frens i hang out mugging after school, late at night, shopping, gossping with. I find those times and the thoughts of them very encouaraging. These life long friends i've made over 5 years, altho i dun get to see many of them much or hear from them even, i know we think of each other in our hearts and when we do meet again, we'll be just like before, close and sweet. I have no regrets being a dr. I mean apart from the really tough times, which i spend a big proportion of my life surviving them now, i cannot see myself doing any other thing. I dun see myself enjoying as much as i do now in any other career. The satisfaction of seeing a parent/ family/patient thank me and walk out of the hospital jus makes me feel awesome, seeing a sick/lethargic kid coming in, making a correct diagnosis and execute a treatment prompt;y be it supportive while waiting for them immune system to act on it, or curative with the correct antibiotic, and then seeing the kid all happy and strong running and screaming around the very next day just makes me feel good. So this is one positive side, despite all my whining and unhappiness about being consumed by work and losing myself - almost.

The second good thing is that i learn to cherish my loved ones more. Not that i didn't use to, but MUCH more now. Like how the busy-ness just gets the better of me, so much so that the sleep dept has crawled and caused these irreversible dark rings under my eyes no matter how i try to sleep in. Working straight 17 days and then now resting at home for two days just gives me a good break, i learn to appreciate simple pleasures like lying on my bed, not having to listen out for the alarm at 6 every morning. Sleeping in until i feel happy and satisfied before i wake up. just walking around in my home, eating rubbish,d rinking, lsitening to my mum talk on the phone, chitchatting with the bro and sisters is just luxurious. OTher simple pleasures like post call euphoria. After 32 hours of work, with less than 30 mins of sleep most of the time, it just feels good to be able to know u can leave hospital at 1 pm, unlike the usual 8pm. But of coz most times i leave at 3 o clock on average. Oh wells, these small pleasures keep me going dun they? :)

FOr now i have a few more things to do. How privilaged to be a resident. kena saboed to debate on tuesday. wad a joke, like we're not busy enough. sighs...

time to rest and relax and do some irritating admin and preapre for the debate of coz, seeing how yh and adila have spent so much effort.

JIA YOUS nettes!!!

What i like a about my work

I mean, apart from the potentially difficult people and difficult situations, and loong unhumane hours and stress during those average 14 hours a day work day; and apart from the sleepless calls and sleepless nights becuase of unfinished HIDS; i am kept sane with the angels i see everyday. Angels are the cuties in the wards,sick as they may be, they are just soo cute. the angel nurses who always help. the angel coleagues and peers who are ever so supportive and encouraging with their words and actions. and even a listening ear makes me feel like i can keep going. Small gestures and thank you, makes me feel appreciated.
Heck the insensitive remarks, heck the unreasonable demands.
i will press on because of these angels and the love i get at home. :)

It's Wednesday!!!

Good morning it's wednesday! it's record breaking, i've never on a working day teh next not on a call day ever never ever slept soo late,. gosh my back is breaking!! i also had a new record. i did 25 HIDS in a single day singlehandedly!!!!
]
i WANNA of coz thank my family. They have been soooo supportive of me. my mum always offering to fetch me around and dad encouraging me with his funniess my sisters with dinner and nice uplifting gestures, my brother for his wonder massages when im tired. My aunt for her smses and phonecalls and offering to piack me up late at night,..

THANK you. :)

thank god. Pld keep me in good health and keep me humble and importantly keep my fire burning that i will never lose passion or enthusiasm!
Lookin forward to this weekend!

:)
FAMILY!!!

COnfidence

is the key for today and tmr! and everyday :)

On CAll tmr, my first paeds call. GOd please guide me along and give me strength and alertness! AMEN

Freezing cold yakult works magic on friday night:)

A whole day of mad rush at work. making silly mistakes here and there that i shouldnt, to need to work faster, a whole pile of d/c summaries not yet done, for all those, i still left hospital, albeit late ok not late for kk standards 8pm and rushed over to join my two eager sisters for a friday night dinner. JAp food! :)

and how we talked non stop about everything under the sun, mostly about ourselves and the family. hahaha.

then we trotted home, and i found a bottle of green yakult (ONE NAD ONLY BOTTLE) left sitting in the fridge, with permission from my sister, i grabbed it and gukped down. YUMS.

the feeling is indescribablee.

Lynie!! gogogo! press on and fighting. looking forward to half day of rest tmr. Thank god it's saturday!

tired day. i am overwhelmed.i am struggling. Mummy i love u.

SO many times today while seeing the patients, i felt like crying. i was choking in tears so many times today, just no time to cry.

I felt like tearing each time i see a child cry and run to mummy's arms when i approach him or her, not because i am terrified but coz these moments remind me of my mummy and how as a sick child i'd so often run into her protective arms and each time feeling so much better and so safe in her arms. Not only literally sick. but so many moments in life when i feel so overwhelmed i cannot cope, my mum NEVER FAILS TO say things or do things that'd make me better. I am where i am and largely who i am because of her and her protective arms. Mummy i love u.

ONe sad case today..well shan't alborate too much on it given this is a PUBLIC place and so many eyes watching. jus a sad story about a young bright life. I am keeping him and his parents in my prayers.

going to shower and sleep soon. I can do it!! AZA!!!!

First day at where i belong

Do i reaally belong there? well! it's all still too early to say.

It feels really good to come home after an awefully tiring day (both physically and mentally from too much unecessary worries) to my beautiful mum and sis. They both walked down to the station to pick me up. It was a nice warm fuzzy feeling.

Today started early @ 7am! i intentionally timed my journey fr the moment i leave home to the moment i set foot on kk compound. it took me 35mins. given that i only waited 3 mins for the train and 0 mins for the bus at bugis. OK if i needa reach at 720 everyday, that would translate to leaving house at 645. and waking at 615. hmm, as hf wld put it: effectively i should sleep by 1015 everyday. kk i shall try to do that.

As i was saying lotsa unecessary anxiety i am putting on myself. Prolly coz it's no longer " my first posting" so i impose more expectations on myself and i'm sure others would expect more from me too. FIrst posting in int med was much more relaxing coz i know i dun belong there jus a passerby. Now that i am in kk, i feel like i need to be more effcient and better at wad i do and all.

ok I needa stop this. Whatever i do, wherever i am, i jus need to give me best. And with god's grace, i think my best is good enough :)

All sound quite negative only coz i am so freakin tired today. 7am started citrix training. and in kk meds are all computerised i need to get use to it QUICKLY. Plus  paeds is diff from adults, everything needs to be caculated. which explains why me and steph walked down little india n then PS jus to get a small calculator to carry during daily work. Thankfully we found sth cute and appropriate. The a whole day of back to back orientation and some of which i must say are totally mundane and not entirely relevant. After which we still had to go back to our ward to do up the changes.

Got home at 8 plus today and i noe its not just once off, hearssay tells me it's a norm! And how i was sabotaged to be the roster monster. IT IS TERRIBLE. XQ help!!!!

Dear God, pls give me enough grace to handle the change and to embrace the work. Empower me with wit and confidence and speed to do my work well and efficient and always keep me humble.AMEN!